Thursday, 3 January 2013

Reflections of Uncertainty in The Waiting for 2012

At the start of the New Year 2013, I can be forgiven for looking back over this last year and reflecting on the many changes that have occured.
This time a year ago, 2012, I was single and the certainty of becoming a Mum still seemed so very un-certain. I had been approved to be an adopter but there was still a minefield of paperwork and the family finding process in earnest was still several heartbeats away. It felt like an eternity, the waiting. It all seemed so very uncertain and so comepletely beyond my control. my life was in "their hands". Well, not my life literally but my future hope to be a Mum seemed to be in their hands.
The Adoption process with this agency has been almost 2 years, which for the UK, ticks all the current boxes in terms of the length of time for the whole process to take but that does not feel like a short and slick process when you are in it.
This last year it has been full of waiting, forms, waiting, questions, waiting, answers, searching and searching for the right child for me to parent, lists of possibles, decisions to be made, waiting, interviews, questions, waiting, decisions, waiting,waiting, preparing a room and preparing a heart, waiting,waiting, waiting, waiting, matching panel,waiting, decision maker's decision, relief, timing for meeting your child for the first time, introductions, and arrival home together have all happened in this last year.
The waiting and the feeling of uncertainty have, at times, been very hard indeed.
A year on and several hoops and hopes later, we are both home and looking forward to a new year ahead, with a whole different set of uncertainties ahead in our adventures.
The waiting and the uncertainty in the wait have taught me powerful things about myself and those around me who have inspired and supported me along the way.
The reflection of the wait is something quite beautiful to behold.
The change from uncertainty to certainty has been worth the wait indeed.
Apparently, only fools rush in.

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