Messy Snow Joke Summer Fun

We have been continuing to have fun and develop PJ's sensory needs in our play activities - the latest fun we have had has been with shaving foam - ideas for summer snow can be found at growing a jeweled rose - we danced in it, squidged it, added food colouring and watched new colours transform it, we froze some and made summer snow and did the same - and then, before not too long, PJ added her favourite activity - pouring - more and more water until, finally, it was just watery liquid to be poured and poured.

Summer Holiday Royal Baby Reading

Thankfully, we love books in our house. Bedtime and let's wriggle and sit on the sofa for a little while time and we there is nothing quite like a little book to read.
PJ came with lots of books and she got some for Christmas and Birthday but I spotted two books and thought they would be perfect for the summer holidays, given our success with the news and the impact this tiny baby has had on our wee household!
We have read the Queens Knickers and it has become a loved book to share and I am delighted to say that we love this one too

 

Our fast becoming favourite one, though is this one. I like the helicopter bits by Wills and the party planning by Harry and Pippa, I have to say.

Have you read any good reads this summer?

Indoor Glamping Summer Holiday Weekend

Does anyone else love camping but hate the trauma of being wet and all that entails? You know the scenario - I have the memory of it firmly imprinted on my mind for a lifetime of camping experiences - you arrive and spend ages pitching your tent and then wake in the night cold and wet, or as once happened to me, you awake to a river seemingly running through your tent, or a storm comes while you are out for the day and your borrowed tent has almost collapsed and now has water on the inside that you have to bail out of all the water and then eventually sleep elsewhere, somewhat defeated. One time, I slept in my parents awning on their caravan but that blew away, so I ended up having to sleep in the caravan. I haven't had great experiences of camping, it has to be said.
Well, I like camping but the memories of getting wet and being miserable, almost outweigh the fun of being with friends, relaxing, turning your friends tent around for fun, beautiful countryside, taking life at a slower pace and singing and telling stories around a bbq and a campfire into the wee hours.....  and then the bit where you have to put everything away, wet, only to have to hang it out inside, at home again, to dry. For days. And then pack it all away. Again.
Only to repeat this, all over again, the following year!
So, now I have PJ and thought I ought to attempt re-new my friendship with camping again, as I haven't been camping for a couple of years - and have even tent my tent to some friends, in denial of going again. I have tossed and turned over it and decided that I couldn't pitch a tent myself. My tent is not easy to put up on your own. Especially with PJ, at the moment, she would try and help for a few minutes, I am sure and then probably run off with some poles and use them to fish with, in the nearest available puddle. I couldn't bear the thought of it all and the stress and the getting wet.... but maybe there was a fun way to do it - at least as a trial - and to stay dry?
Then I got inspired and my creative juices got going....
Indoor Glamping at home!
We both got new sleeping bags, which I found here, and I also got us a funky collapsible bucket and a scrunchy bucket each so we could each practise carrying water to do the washing up outside, just like real camping. the company delivered really fast too - so I had no excuses!

Then I built our indoor tent.
I used 3 x double sheets
2x indoor clothes dryers/airers.
battery LED pretty fairy lights.
I used 1 x sheet over each dryer/airer on each side, which helped cover the sides of our tent and seemed to help the tent top sheet over the top of the dryer/airer to not slip. This top sheet we folded up in top during the day and then hung it over the dryer/airer at night to give a darker effect.
I hung 2x small sets of funky butterfly indoor lights over the clothes airer.
Ta Da!

We used camping lanterns and torches at night.
I cooked on top of the oven as I don't have a camping stove, we used the bbq and ate outside and washed up in a bowl outside, just like real camping.
We even tried smores...

I have to say, the hardest part was the going to sleep part and after the first night we were both tired the next day and for me, the lounge floor seemed to be really uncomfortable. It wasn't as bad the second night!
It was really, really, enjoyable. And dry. Our tent was very easy to put up and to take down and we had our luxury item too - telly - as our special treat - and watched a DVD on the floor in our new sleeping bags at night - which made the settling down and going to sleep a little easier!
anyone else done some indoor glamping?
Or have an easy idea for pitching a tent single handed?
I'm thinking of trying a log pod/wigwam on a campsite.....

Summer Holidays Fun Days

We have been having fun dressing up as pirates at a local Fun Day!
A brilliantly run drop in day, with lots of activities to try and to join in with.
I didn't have to plan anything.
I just went with the flow.
We went with friends and had a picnic in the park.
And it was free.
And no tidying up to do.
Yippee!
Brilliant.

Royal Garden for a Prince or a Princess

Pj loves gardening. Well, she loves digging, to be precise. We went to a local Gardening club and came home with this lovely wee garden that we made together!
It has a cardboard turret tower covered with foil, which is then decorated with a permanent marker pen.
We put soil in the base of the seed tray and then placed our tower into the garden.
We added some ivy for the princess ladder and another flowering plant in the garden.
We used gravel to make a gravel path and added some bark chips and some grass seed.
PJ loved the digging and adding the soil and needed a lot of persuasion to complete the rest.
It is fit for a Prince or a Princess.
Beware of the dragons, though!

Watch this space and I will try and post a photo of the garden as it grows!

Summer Holidays with the Family

We are embarking on the long Summer Holidays, our first together, with our belts fastened and buckles tied. I have decided that with the transition to Big School being imminent, that I would maintain a level of consistency with PJ and so she would still go to Nursery for her usual Nursery days for the few days a week that she goes, throughout the usual 5 week summer break.

My method for this madness is to not break the routine I have fought so hard to create throughout this year, particularly in the areas of getting dressed and getting out of the house and also the routine of being used to having some days without Mummy, as we are about to embark on another change for PJ - the transition from Nursery to Big School.
I have told her, alongside all the visits to Big School, that she will still be living with me when she goes to Big School, that she won't be going to another new family. Oh, she said. She had clearly, and sadly, associated the talk of going to Big school with the move from her previous nursery being with a move to a new Mummy.
We will have some special days out and I have the flexibility to swap a nursery day or to pull her out of a nursery Day if I wanted to, whilst still maintaining some sense of continuity, consistency, routine, the familiar in amongst the hype of change that the school summer holidays brings.
We have days out planned with friends and family and friends coming to stay and we are going to friends to stay for a few overnight stays. I have also planned an indoor camping night which she is very excited about, too!

This summer, our first summer holidays together is not a time to rock the boat!

Day trip with some family, on a boat that was pulled along by a horse along the canal. A great day trip - almost relaxing - added to with the merriment of PJ yelling over the side of the boat excitedly to her cousins that she could see sharks!

Mud #Memory Box

Mud.
Thick, oozy, scquelchy mud.
You love mud.
You saw a puddle at the weekend and jumped in.
Squelch squerch you called as you waded in.
The mud on the outskirts of the mud oozed over and into your doodle pumps.
The muddy puddle - possibly the only one in the park - was deep.
In you went.
Right in.
Up to your knees.
Even if you had worn your wellies, I don't think they would have helped.
Not in that muddy puddle, that's for sure.
You lay down in it and kicked your legs, shrieking with delight and joy.
It was on your nose and in your hair too.
On the squelchy and squirchy walk back up the hill towards home, we passed a family.
The Mum's mouth dropped wide open as she stared.
The Dad smiled and said: that looks like you had brilliant fun.
A lovely Muddy Day, you said.

Holiday Success

We had a fantastic holiday!
A roaring success by all accounts.
Sun, sand and sea.
We built sandcastles and paddled in the sea.
We watched the seagulls and the boats.
We ate ice cream and fish and chips.
We wrote postcards and brought some sticks of rock for friends and family.
We wrote in the sand and threw pebbles in the sea.
We played at our holiday home with our familiar toys we had selected together and miraculously crammed into the car.
Brilliant.
The ups by far outweighed the downs.
PJ coped extremely well, for our first holiday together.
The few days of unsettled behaviours before and since returning and the few later nights of settling to sleep and the earlier mornings whilst on holiday fade into insignificance.
With all the excitement and unsettled times the holiday created, I did have to do a load of washing whilst we were away - and had to do it all again when we got home!
12 sets of pants and leggings = 2 days!
Memories created.
And the sun shone, gloriously.
It has been worth it.

Our Grand Day Out

It wouldn't be the Easter School Holidays would it, if we didn't brace ourselves for a Grand Day Outdoors, armed with buggy and coats and some friends (4 friends, to be precise) brave enough to invite us to join them for a train ride.
It sounded good: a ratio of 1 x adult per child and all travelling together, with plans to explore and see the sights, have lunch somewhere and go somewhere fun to play and then come home.
I have been to this place many times but it was a first for PJ.
I know she has been on a train before coming to me, but not sure how long the train journey was or how long ago or how often or how well she did it.
The train journey was OK. It was full of merriment and shared interest, between the 3 children, swapping seats and spotting trains and tracks and trying to say the station names and guess how many stops (or spots as they said) it would be before we reached our destination. Onlookers smiled politely.
One of the members of the group had a scooter and PJ was desperate to have a go and, being kind and generous in heart, they said yes. I let her have a ride around some of the tunnel walkways within the station, which satisfied her, before PJ got in the buggy and we left the station and went for our sightseeing tour. A boat trip. Top deck, surrounded by families and PJ kicked off. Mid tantrum, an entire family sitting next to us on the next bench got up and moved away. The spot remained vacant for some considerable time. So, PJ then used the bench to clamber over and again I pulled her back to me for fear of her hurting herself or falling down the steps. She objected again, of course.
My friends with me laughed and said but just think how far she and you have come to get to this point. Shame that family staring and tutting at you don't realise that and all that has gone before.
Good point and it was good to have their light hearted, take it all in your stride, approach - and to be reminded of the tiny small steps that have become the leaps and bounds we have made.
PJ gradually calmed and listened to my boundaries of not running around and enjoyed some of the views and gave up on pushing our friends and making them cry and said sorry and they became friends again and laughter and shared moments continued.
A quick run along the path and a scooter ride through the wind and crowds to the cafe for a welcome lunch. Make your own pizza and get your own chefs hat was a roaring success as was the long and winding stairs down to the toilets. We made several trips. Several.
Unfortunately for those paying customers in the restaurant, the wait towards the end for dessert and the bill was all a bit much for PJ. The concentration was lost and the urge to escape took hold. Across the long bench she travelled, past several tables all beautifully set, ready for the next customers, laden with elegant wine glasses. My attempt at a NO! fell on deaf ears but a quick grab, worked but the tears then ensued.  I went for strapping her in the buggy but missed and the buggy shot backwards into the table behind where a man skillfully stopped it! PJ was by now squirming on the floor. I picked her up and gave her the chair to hold on to. After several attempts to reconnect her to the chair she complied and held on, whilst she put on her coat. The promise from her friend to have a go on the scooter when we get outside also helped her calm and re-focus.
She loved a short go on the scooter and then together, PJ and I practised walking hand in hand (with screams of protests)  along the pavement with the buggy to our planned afternoon activity. A play centre. It was brilliant. Bricks to build with and levers and pulleys, a car to paint, a wall to climb and lights and crafts and water to pour. And, as PJ discovered, a few new found friends to push and shove. A fight quickly ensued over 2 toy dogs on a leash being carried in a wheel barrow and neither child was backing down. The older child said they had it first, so I got the dogs and gave them to the child and saod to PJ and the child that tehy would have the toy dogs as they had them first. Sure enough, a few minutes later, PJ emerged with one of the toy dogs and leash with a look of triumph but then dropped the toy and ran off to do something else. It was obviously all about the winning for both children as both toy dogs were left lying abandoned.
I did manage to drink a cup of tea with my friends before we gathered up our children to make the quick march back to the train station for the journey home.
Phew.
We got fish and chips for tea on the way back home from the train station.
It seemed like a good end to a busy Day Out.
Even if we had a few hairy scary short moments that all ended very well without any damage to glasses being smashed or heads being bashed.
Thank you friends for sharing a day out with us and for reminding me of how far we have come, already.
The sun shone and the wind blew.
We all slept well.

Easter Egg Tree

An Easter egg Tree?
Well, why not?
We have had fun decorating our tree together with bunnies, eggs, a lamb, a Easter Fairy, some chicks and ribbons and some rafia, after a lovely blustery spring Easter Holiday walk to collect some twigs to make a tree.
Ta Da!

Easter Egg Nests

Easy Peasy to make and delicious to eat and perfect for Easter Holiday snacks and treats and quick picnic deserts.

They are quick to make too and not too fiddly, which is great for baking activities with children with limited concentration.

I do put the chocolate, syrup and butter in a pan and weigh out the cornflakes before calling PJ into the kitchen, which helps!

PJ loves to select the colours of the cake cases - and to mix it in - and she loves to lick the spoon!
She did very well at adding the mini eggs to the nests.

We used 300g chocolate
150 g butter
6 tblspns syrup

Melt these ingredients in a saucepan on a slow and gentle heat.
Add 300g cornflakes.

All join in stirring!
Put 2 spoons of nest egg cornflake chocolate mix into each paper case.
Gently press down and add chocolate mini eggs into each egg nest.

We made about 25-30

and there aren't many left!

Changing Kinds of Play

Sometimes yes, it is like this.
Carnage. Utter chaos. Welcome to Chaotic Play.

Rather than one type of toy coming out of a box at a time, in some kind of systematic order, structured, secure, ordered, each toy played with and then put away before the next one comes out and play resumes and then tidy up time happens, once again systematic, ordered until complete, this is very different.

It can happen in an instant - with all her toys - that get taken out of their boxes and sometimes lobbed around the room - or several of her electronic musical toys all coming out at once - boom thwacka tum chee woo oo, a cacophony of noise that is not sweet to my ears, where she sits and rocks or spins and spins around or twists her body and shakes her head very fast.

PJ reverts to the familiar, the past chaos that she has known previously, to bring safety, security to her. Sometime she does it with a woo - hoo - look what I've created, look at all this mess, she says.... and seems to then pause and wait... for a reaction.

It seemed to happen more often when she first came to me and it reoccurs after professionals visit or we have had several new experiences or changes happen in quick succession.

I have spent months working with PJ on modelling on type of toy coming out and playing with her and helping her to choose which things to play with and when and sensing when we need to change to something different and then help her to tidy up, quickly and effectively and for it to be achievable and hopefully enjoyable too. It has moved along in leaps and bounds. I am not so phased by when all the toys or all the noisy toys come out now. I know it will be short lived and can now be firm and reset boundaries for one toy coming out at a time and help suggest another activity instead of all the noisy electronic over stimulating toys coming out. A story on my lap often works.

The other kind of play is hard to break the cycle of at times, I find. Again, I experienced it a lot when I first met PJ. Controlling Play.

This is the: No not like that, you can't do that, would you like this? Well, no, you can't have it. You go over here and I am over here and there you stay.
Again, it happened a lot when PJ first arrived and when she feels threatened by meeting and playing with new people, or after we have done something new or when professionals visit. All these things throw her and she is out of kilter and returns to her familiar controlling behaviours.
Parallel play would be fun as would joining in with a child initiated imaginative play session. Sometimes this is a fine line and at other times the line has been clearly crossed.

I tell her this controlling or bossy play isn't kind or fun to join in with, Again, I have worked hard these last few months on breaking into the controlling and isolating play and have made some headway. When it rears it's ugly head it is like battling in a headwind. The calm after is a refreshing change once the turning point comes. The moment when an idea is accepted and when 2 shared experiences intertwine. A connection is made and the barriers come down.

In the bigger picture of play, both of these kinds of change need to happen for PJ to both feel calm and for her to be able to socialise. Currently, in her Nursery setting she dominates and leads others in how she interacts with them and how they play.

Trust is the key for both calm and order to be reclaimed and restored in her life and for her future relationships to develop and grow.

To change these kinds of play for PJ I need to challenge them and re-route and re-programme her understanding and experience of trust, which has been a previously rocky foundation.

Play is the theme for this weeks Weekly Adoption Shout Out.

World Book Day Idea!

I have been reading so many tales of woe with the lead up to World Book Day, I thought I would share with you a "here's one I made earlier" world book day costume idea - and all you need is a load of brown paper and tape!

The book? The Paper Bag Princess!

 

For those of you who are not sure what World book day is, let me enlighten you a little:

Imagine choosing a favourite character from a book and then making a costume to dress up in for a day to celebrate and encourage a love of  books with numerous children.
We had Anne Frank, Harry Potter, Woody, Spiderman, Batman, Harrison Ford, Fairies, Alice in Wonderland, Princesses, Dr. Doolittle, Pirates, Snowmen, Handa from Handa's Surprise, Cruella, Little Red Riding Hood, Mr.Bond and a Granny to name but a few!

I chose to dress up as "The Paper Bag Princess" a character from the story book by Robert N. Munsch with fabulous line drawn illustrations by Michael Martchenko.

If you don't know this fun children's story then I will unravel the plot to you...

This is no ordinary dragon and princess tale but rather this has a fiery fun twist in the dragons tail! This feisty princess has her home destroyed by the dragon and she has nothing to wear to try and meet her prince. She makes a dress from a paper bag and tricks the dragon to show off his fiery prowess by setting fire to anything and everything on their way to find the prince. When the prince and princess meet, the dragon has no fire left! Does she marry the prince though? What does the prince think to his creative and resourceful and sassy princess? Do they live happily ever after?
Well of course, that would spoil the ending if I told you!
You will, of course, have to read the story to find out.
Look here for ideas of where to buy and see the front cover!

Anyway, back to my World Book Day:
I made my costume from brown paper on Wednesday evening. The cat "Smudge" kept skidding excitedly on the rolled out brown paper and diving into it and chewing edges.
He, at least, thought it was great!


I made my "dress" as a simple skirt and top 2 piece. I did a simple top with straps and tied loops with twine to tie it around me in the morning. I made a simple skirt in two pieces. I folded the main part of the skirt into zig zags or pleats and then taped them inside a large folded over panel piece for the belt.
Simple!
 I made a few more loops with twine to simply tie it on in the morning.
It was a bit crinkly and during the day the twine kept snapping away from the paper -so tape was never far away from me!
I wore a simple wire headband fit for a princess and carried along my dragon for the day. Perfect paper bag Princess!
Some thought I was Hiawatha or Pocahontas but one said they thought I was just a bag!
At least they didn't call me "old".

Happy World Book Day!

#One Week - Winter 1

In the bleak mid-winter at the park

I wrote recently about the devastating news for us that our local and favourite played in every day park has flattened the playground area. The play park closed December 24th 2012. Happy Christmas!

We have done our best, since PJ loves running and runs and runs and runs. She also loves playing hide and seek so we run along and do hiding, weaving in and out of the trees. We don our wellies and go puddle jumping and grab a stick and fish for leaves we call fish. We've chased the squirrels and over time, these last few months since PJ came to be with me she is slightly less aggressive towards them and will now stay still long enough for them to come quite close to her. She will now whisper: hello squirrel, softly before she stamps her feet or kicks her legs in the air or jumps up high and then shrieks with laughter as they turn and scamper off up a tree. Chase me, chase me, squirrel she says. It's a learning curve. We have taken PJ's scooter and travelled up and down the paths and practised our listening skills and following instructions as I give directions and help her take turns in choosing which path we go along next.

All this said, we miss our beloved playground within the park. We've spent months playing on the slide and climbing frame, taking turns to cross the bridge and exchange tickets to then spin the driving wheel to reach our destination: the zoo. We've stopped off to visit monkeys, elephants and the giraffe and turned the swings into the vets. Others have been encouraged to join in our games too. They have purchased tickets and yelled all aboard and travelled to the zoo in the park with us too. I have had my heart in my mouth moments when PJ has found it hard to share or to take turns or tried to be Miss very Independent and try and leap off the Fireman Pole - all by my own, Mummy! We've eaten our snack on the benches and sung see saw on the see saw and tried really really hard to get the roundabout to spin - a little. We have bought and sold and shared and devoured deliciously flavoured pretend ice creams from under the slide. And we have both slipped on the wobbly bridge and landed on our bums!

We have waved goodbye and stood in silence at the waste ground that is now the playground and Winter, with this loss, has hit us both hard.

The new playground will apparently be ready April 2014.
Winter is harsh, and seem cruel, sometimes.

I am joining in with the link over at Older Mum who is hosting a rather fabulous seasonal blog hop around the theme of Winter.

Fun Friday - Something for the Weekend

This is our Fun Friday.
We got out our new Christmas stuff and made ice cream cakes and ice creams.
PJ loves squidging playdough and for the mostpart, over these last few months that is exactly what she has done with her playdough.
She came with various cuttters and rolling pins and shapes to cut out with playdough, which have held her interest, momentarily. Then it is back to the familiar and satisfying thing to do with playdough. Squidging. Squidge, squidge, squidge.
She has enjoyed a little sausage shape making too, but mostly it has been all about the squidging. All colours rolled into one.
So, Christmas came and friends asked what she might enjoy for Christmas and I said: playdough.
Make your own, some have said. Yes. I will, probably, eventually. At the moment, being a new and at times rather shell shocked adoptive Mummy means that making my own playdough comes rather much lower down on my list of things to do.
Sleep and food and play with PJ are top of the list.
Anyway, back to the playdough.
I got some lovely new colours from Father Christmas and from friends.
And one lovely friend gave us this:

I wondered if it might be too fiddly for her, yet and that she wouldnt be interested in it at all, given her fascination and repetative squidging of playdough. Although she is nearly 4, she has some developmental gaps so we are a bit stuck at squidging things.

She loves it!

Basketti she shrieks with delight! (Spaghetti Bolognese is a favourite meal in our house, so the idea of squeezing playdough through a machine that comes out as spaghetti "basketti" is a great source of merriment and delight) The basketti machine is fantastic !
Thankyou my Christmas friend who purchased this gift and thankyou Playdough for making this machine.

So, today I thought we would have a go at doing something different to just squidging and to have the focus on the new basketti machine - and to make something else, other than spaghetti.

She loves ice cream, so the idea was met with enthusiasm.
We put our ice cream playdough in bowls and had lolipop sticks and glitter and pom poms and sequin sprinkles at the ready...

 

We had a lot of Fun!

Lollipops and iced gem biscuits

 

 

 

and mini bowls filled with ice cream.

 

Perfect for a snowy day!

 

                                                            How was your Fun Friday?

Snowman

Sadly, the snowman #1 we made in the snow on Friday got demolished before I got to the camera.

Happily, though, all is not lost!

We went back out again in the snow yesterday and made this:

 

I think he needs a name, don't you?

 

 

Enjoy!

Snow Day Friday

We got SNOOOOOWWWW!
Not much so far but enough to venture out to the shed to look for the sledge PJ thought she had come with and was in the shed - but no,
No sledge in the shed.
humpf
So, instead we -
Put on hats, gloves, wellies, coats (all big achievements)
Go out for a walk in the snow,
Into the park to crunch in the snow,
Run around in the snow,
Do some Snow Angels
Throw snow,
Buy new sledge in the sales - bargain - red - she wanted blue like her old one (aww)
Brrr.
Come inside and get dry and warm.
chase the cat,
Drink hot chocolate.
Back outside to build a Snowman,
With stones for eyes and buttons, pine cone for a nose,
Adorn with a hat and sandcastle bucket for fun and a windmill,
Throw more snow
knock down the snowman (oops!)
Throw more snow,
Eat snow,
Collect as much snow as you can in your arms
Try out the new sledge.
Come back inside again to get warm and dry.
drink hot chocolate,
chase the cat,
play with Christmas playdough set,
watch a DVD

So now we have completed 2 snowy things to do of our 50 challenge

Happy Snowy Friday!

Toddler Group Terrific Tuesdays!

The return to Toddler Group has now been renamed from Terrible Tuesdays to Toddler Group's Terrific Tuesdays!
Yippee!
Phew!
I actually enjoyed it!
I actually had a chance to talk to other adults!
I am just so delighted that PJ has begun to enjoy her time there with me too.
She arrived and went to the toys: various ride on's, noisy baby toys, trampoline, home corner things and even did a painting too! With an apron on!
Woo hoo!

Toddler Group Terrible Tuesdays

Nightmare! We went a few weeks ago, at a friend's kind suggestion, to a local Baby and Toddler Group. I thought we were both ready to branch out and try some new things. PJ had been with me for 3 months and the routine of going to her new Nursery was by now established and she was more settled and happy there. The socialisation skills she will learn and the opportunity to play will be great, I thought. And I will have the chance to play with her there as well as get to know some other Mums too, I mused. Bonus. Besides, my friend Sarah, who had suggested we go, also helped to run it. She had a little boy too, Harry, about PJ's age and we had met them a few times at our church. It is all about connections with PJ, to help lower the anxieties, to calm the fear. I thought that telling her we would be going and that we would see our friend Sarah and her little boy, Harry, would help allay any fears she might have. We will have a lovely time, I reassured her. It will be a nice and calm and chilled morning out, I told myself.
How wrong was I!
It was a battle ground.
She went into fight and flight mode and ran around like a whirling dervish.
Toys, babies or small toddlers on the ground, beware. PJ ran through them, into them and over them. I did my best to catch her, but she thought it was a game and ran faster. I did eventually catch her and sit her down.
Time out.
I did my best to talk calmly, soothingly. You know, all the stuff I have read about and experienced in the past in my job context. She seemed still. She got up and did the same again.
Running at great speed, she went for the slide. A tiny tot was tentatively tottering at the top. He didn't see her coming from behind. They slid down dramatically, together. I grabbed her halfway down to steady her and to slow her down. The baby cried. PJ screamed and hit and kicked. All the Mum's glared, or so it seemed, at me. I wanted to curl up and die and for the ground to swallow me up, right there. I did my best to say sorry to the wee tots parent and to stay focused on talking through the event with PJ and to remind her of being kind and steady and the need to share toys and take turns.
I tried.
Snack time was a disaster.
She made a bee line for the comfy sofas around the edge of the room and ran around, shrieking with delight, bouncing on and off, without a care for anyone or anything, or if she might hurt herself, or them. Talking to her, using a stern voice, or warning her of consequences wouldn't work either. She is in such a state of heightened high arousal at this point that she ain't hearing me.
A warning of a consequence would fall on deaf ears and then she would simply fail, which would be unfair on her. Holding her in a hug for her safety and the safety of others is what she needed and got. For whatever reason, past trauma or fear or memories, or this Baby and Toddler Group simply being a new place, this experience had triggered the basic fight instinct in PJ.
The Queen of Aggression and Fighting was in the room.
And she was going to win.
Let Battle commence.
She doesn't yet have the skills to calm herslef down or the skills to keep herself or others safe. That is my job. I needed to intervene and she needed reassurance that she was safe with me and that I would keep her safe. She wasn't feeling safe in the Baby and Toddler Group. New is scary, even if she portrayed a very over confident and aggressive exterior.
The second week was worse.
And the third week. Or so it seemed to me.
She seemed to go for particular children and hit and kick them.
Repeatedly.
When I withdrew her from the situation each time she did this and held her safe in my arms she screamed, kicked and hit me and headbutted me. Well, she tried to.
One lady came over at one point whilst I was holding PJ sobbing and yelling: get off me Mummy, and asked me if I was OK.
I'm fine I said, as PJ lay, now calm in my arms quietly sniffing.
During the third week, PJ was yelling to me that she wanted to go home.
Home was safe but here was not.
Would I take her home and give in?
I wanted to. After all, I had had what felt like weeks of other Mum's glares and the unspoken words of: haven't you got your 3 year old under control by now?
I wanted to yell out to everyone that: She has only been with me 3 months, this is all new for her, she has been through hell in the past. This is regression. We will get there. Once she has settled she will be fine. She loved her previous Toddler group and has now settled into Nursery. We will get through this, please give us a chance. But of course, I didn't say anything.
I didn't bring her home early either.
I simply said we were going to stay here and play together and that if she hit or kicked again I would bring her to the side again and we would stay together until she had calmed down. She didn't like it. It was hard work. We were both emotionally exhausted by the end of Baby and Toddler Group.
Week 4 was much better and we had talked a lot during the week about the structure of the Baby and Toddler Group and the toys and being kind.
She said: maybe I won't hit Harry. Maybe I will.
Maybe you won't, I said.
She didn't hit Harry.
She arrived and said: do you want to play Harry?
Yes he said.
They did.
Phew.
Week 5 was the Toddler group Christmas party.
She did great!
She even won some of the dance games. I was delighted and so was she.
Then we had 2 weeks off for Christmas.
I was dreading going back last week, I admit.
Would we be back to square one, I thought?
She said she didn't want to go but I told her again of the structure of the group and reminded her of the toys that would be there.
It was a dream.
She played happily and calmly.
I even got a chance to sit and chat with some other mum's there too.
The battleground of Baby and Toddler Group has been worth persevering with.
Resilience resumed. The ability to bounce back.
We bounced.
We go again today.

Mud or Snow?

Here is the idea.
Brilliant!
All aimed at helping Children to get Outdoors more.
Fun and fresh air all in one breath.
50 things to do before you are 11 and 3/4



So far, we have completed 4 things.
Number 22. Taken a look from inside a tree.
Number 18. Balanced on a fallen tree - with help, admittedly!
Number 6. Ran around in the rain.
Number 19.  Swung on a rope swing.
Hoping to complete number 11 and number 15, if the weather forecast brings us the snow: Throw some snow or go sledging.....
What are our chances?
We might end up doing 13 or 20 instead....as all we have rain and lots of mud at the moment!