made for just one child. That child whose life is turned around might just be the ‘yeast’ that over time, activates regeneration in a family, a community, a region, a country, the world.”
I just love this quote, that I discovered earlier this week.
The wonder of a child and the potential in the investment of one.
As I invest in PJ as her New Mummy, her future potential is unknown. I want to make a difference in her life. The possibilities are endless and already there is no doubt that I, and others who have invested in her young life so far have already made a difference. The responsibility that goes with that investment and her potential is huge. At times it is overwhelming and the awareness of the power I have as I parent PJ is both exciting and daunting. Terrifying, perhaps. I try not to worry about her future - how will she be at school, will she struggle, make friends or need 1:1 support and if she needs it will she get that support so she can flourish and not flounder? Then I wonder/worry about these things: what will she become, will she have a job, will she live independently, will she be happy, will she grow a deeper understanding of why and how I became her Mum, will she re-discover her birth family....
The list could be endless.
The worry could overtake.
The fear of the unknown, the unanswered could stifle.
For now, I choose to still my thoughts and allow the investment I will make into PJ's life to begin to take shape. I am daily digging deep and burying dome rich treasures, building in resilience, pouring in love, believing in her, being there for her. I am daily shoring in some of the gaps in her little life: through play, conversation, the nurturing, social skills, developing emotional skills and awareness, caring for her and doing my best to provide for her, learning all the time, one day at a time and discovering new ways and new things about her all the time.
The opportunity that is now within my sphere of influence, since all the changes in circumstances, the events that have occurred that have caused the trauma, hurt, changes and loss. The fate or destiny with all of it's twists and turns has led me towards adoption and to adopt PJ. The springboard from where we both leap.
I hope that as I share my life with her, each day investing in the life of one, that I am making a difference. Being that catalyst for change that I desire to be. The one child where a difference is made. Her, my daughter, PJ. My role: to parent, nurture, love, encourage, steer, shape, mould and to release into adulthood when the time is right. My hope as her little life continues to form and take shape that she will flourish and grow. I hope that she will be like yeast and grow to be a little feisty world changer, to be the best she can be, to rub shoulders with others and help to form and shape them, to lead others on new and exciting adventures, to embrace life and to fly. Who knows? The possibilities are almost endless.
For now, it is Winter.
All is still, many things being invested are dug deep, buried, growing roots that will run deep and strong. Everything seems to be lifeless, emotions at times seem dead and yet everything lies dormant - and yet, we know, that there is life flowing underground, brewing up a storm, desperate to burst through the ground and to appear. A creation yet to be revealed, like yeast doing it's thing, is the child within.
We, above ground continue to water and feed you with love, we cherish, nurture, encourage, care for you....
This list too, is endless.
We wait, with bated breath, for Spring.