Friday 1 March 2013

#One Week - Winter 5

 
"The rewards come each time we see that a difference has been
made for just one child. That child whose life is turned around might just be the ‘yeast’ that over time, activates regeneration in a family, a community, a region, a country, the world.”
Christina Noble

I just love this quote, that I discovered earlier this week.
The wonder of a child and the potential in the investment of one.

As I invest in PJ as her New Mummy, her future potential is unknown. I want to make a difference in her life. The possibilities are endless and already there is no doubt that I, and others who have invested in her young life so far have already made a difference. The responsibility  that goes with that investment and her potential is huge. At times it is overwhelming and the awareness of the power I have as I parent PJ is both exciting and daunting. Terrifying, perhaps. I try not to worry about her future -  how will she be at school, will she struggle, make friends or need 1:1 support and if she needs it will she get that support so she can flourish and not flounder? Then I wonder/worry about these things: what will she become, will she have a job, will she live independently, will she be happy, will she grow a deeper understanding of why and how I became her Mum, will she re-discover her birth family....
The list could be endless.
The worry could overtake.
The fear of the unknown, the unanswered could stifle.

For now, I choose to still my thoughts and allow the investment I will make into PJ's life to begin to take shape. I am daily digging deep and burying dome rich treasures, building in resilience, pouring in love, believing in her, being there for her. I am daily shoring in some of the gaps in her little life: through play, conversation, the nurturing, social skills, developing emotional skills and awareness, caring for her and doing my best to provide for her, learning all the time, one day at a time and discovering new ways and new things about her all the time.

The opportunity that is now within my sphere of influence, since all the changes in circumstances, the events that have occurred that have caused the trauma, hurt, changes and loss. The fate or destiny with all of it's twists and turns has led me towards adoption and to adopt PJ. The springboard from where we both leap.

I hope that as I share my life with her, each day investing in the life of one, that I am making a difference. Being that catalyst for change that I desire to be. The one child where a difference is made. Her, my daughter, PJ. My role: to parent, nurture, love, encourage, steer, shape, mould and to release into adulthood when the time is right. My hope as her little life continues to form and take shape that she will flourish and grow. I hope that she will be like yeast and grow to be a little feisty world changer, to be the best she can be, to rub shoulders with others and help to form and shape them, to lead others on new and exciting adventures, to embrace life and to fly. Who knows? The possibilities are almost endless.

For now, it is Winter.
All is still, many things being invested are dug deep, buried, growing roots that will run deep and strong. Everything seems to be lifeless, emotions at times seem dead and yet everything lies dormant - and yet, we know, that there is life flowing underground, brewing up a storm, desperate to burst through the ground and to appear. A creation yet to be revealed, like yeast doing it's thing, is the child within.
We, above ground continue to water and feed you with love,  we cherish, nurture, encourage, care for you....
This list too, is endless.
We wait, with bated breath, for Spring.

18 comments:

  1. A gorgeous photo, a brilliant analogy. You draw us in so well! PJ is lucky to have a mum like you XX

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    1. thanks - it is good to remind myslef that winter is a season for a reason instead of getting all miserable - and thaks for the post link to your blog!

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  2. This a beautiful piece of writing and I'm so glad you've linked up with #OneWeek as well. I love this line "digging deep and burying dome rich treasures", it gives a true feel for the depths of the emotions that we deal with in our children.

    Thanks for Linking up with the Weekly Adoption Shout Out.

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    1. we really do deal with some very deep emotions, don't we - complex and multi layered - thanks again for the WASO - i am loving it.

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    1. thanks - hope you week has had some good moments too x

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  4. That photo is stunning, and a really, really beautiful post - love the analogy with yeast, so so true - and from your words you are pouring so much love and care into PJ - shaping her and moulding her. You sound like a fab mum! X.

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    1. thanks for the encouragement and for the One week that pushed me into writing some of these harder but important posts.

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  5. Beautifully written. I wish you all the happiness in the world on your journey.

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  6. Why couldn't you have posted this 24 hours earlier?!
    I had my first preperation meeting with my SW this morning. We spoke about some of my past experiences and how they would influence my parenting and was trying to make the same point you were making when you talk about 'digging deep and burying some rich treasures' but my answer was nothing like as poetic or eloquent as yours!

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    1. haha - I am sorry that my post wasnt there for you - you will have plenty of opportunity to pour and edit and scribe words seemingly endlessly once prep group is finished and you start on your home assessments!

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  7. Wonderful, really and beautiful too. Good luck with your future story with PJ--not that you'll need it. You sound perfectly ready to create a beautiful life for you both.

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  8. Beautifully written and a superb photo. You make me yearn for spring.

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  9. Lovely post. You're doing an amazing thing :)

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    1. thanks becky - thanks for taking the time to write here and for your encouragement

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