We recently celebrated a rather special birthday - one of PJ's siblings. She hasn't seen this sibling since last summer and it has been agreed that we would send cards and no presents for birthdays. PJ's siblings all live apart and some considerable distance apart, although direct contact is planned for us all to meet as siblings twice a year, but we have still yet to meet up since PJ was placed with me for adoption.
We made some lovely pictures, one which we cut up to fit a card and when I said to PJ that once all the glue was dry, we could write a special happy birthday message. She just beamed and said Oh can we Mummy, oh thank you - so precious a thing to say and yet such a sad thing to say - as of course I will help her in remembering and celebrating her sibling's birthdays, whenever she wants to.
Well the paintings took 3 days to dry, on account of the copious amount of glue and glitter that had been used on top of all the paint - but hey, we are still in the exploring with squeezing glue stage in development phase - the card made and she wrote in the card and shouted out word for word as she wrote in the card - I simply listened at the other end of the table and scribed on a separate piece of paper and dated it, so that sibling's new family could read it out and then it can be kept for years and years.
The remainder of the paintings were layered by PJ and folded up and wrapped as a present inside themselves. I tied them up with a ribbon and we sent them off with the card.
On the day of her siblings birthday, I suggested we send a text and we got one back thanking us for the card and pictures. I asked if PJ wanted a birthday cake so we could sing happy birthday, explaining as best I could that her sibling wouldn't be with us and they wouldn't eat the cake as they were with their new family now and so they would sing happy birthday and eat cake at their house but we could sing happy birthday and eat cake at our house too, if she wanted to.
Yes. A caterpillar cake was requested.
So that is what we did.
We got a caterpillar cake and decorated it with sweets and candles.
this, however was not just an ordinary caterpillar cake.
This was a deeply symbolic moment.
We lit candles and sang happy birthday together.
The candles were blown out and then it happened.
the moment, I hadn't anticipated.
PJ sat in silence and just beamed.
She sighed a happy and contented sigh and beamed with pride.
I don't know what exactly she was thinking deep in her heart at that moment... and it seemed rude to intrude and to ask but this was about her and her sibling.
Her sibling who was living hundreds of miles away and living with another new family.
This moment was between her and her thoughts and her heart.
it was a very precious moment.
Not sure if we will do this for every sibling or if we will do this every year - I plan on going with the flow.
This year, was very special indeed.
with love from PJ