Thursday, 7 February 2013

All About Love - 5 Things Of Love - Day 7

Welcome to All About Love Blog Hop - Day 7 - So here are 5 things that have helped me to understand myself more - and others. It was when I read the book - The 5 Languages of Love Book by Gary Chapman. The book helps to think about how we give and receive love. There are 5 Love Languages, apparently:
1. Words of Affirmation,
2. Giving Gifts,
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
It was several years ago that I read the original book - a bit cheesy, perhaps in places - he is a counsellor and American - and the original book was written with a focus on marriage - but I really loved working out what my primary love language is - and discovering that we can speak more than one language. Cool. I am rubbish at languages, so it is great to be affirmed as a skilled linguist, finally, after all these years. Yes, words of Affirmation is one of my Love languages. Praise can be difficult for us to receive - especially for us Brits - we are a very cynical nation with a sense of humour that thrives on put downs. The theory on the book too, is that of we have been damaged in the past - you know - the you will never be good at such and such, a joke at your expense, being missed out when everyone else has had recognition, an abusive relationship like I had - and shebang - we find it hard to accept a compliment. if we acknowledge it at all, we undermine it by saying - oh it was nothing. The theory in the book is that we need to rebuild into our lives the Language of Love we speak. He also says that one expression of love given by another maybe completely missed if we don't speak that love language. The classic would be that in a relationship the woman might say her man is always busy. She sits alone on the sofa, whilst he is doing the accounts and moving the lawn in his spare time and works long hours during the working day. A bit stereotypical, I know but I didn't write the book. Ha x The Love Language guru would say that the woman's love language is Quality Time - she longs for her bloke to sit with her on the sofa and his love language is acts of Service - with a strong work ethic and to show his love by making sure everyone is provided for. He is thinking he does all this stuff and no one ever notices! He also says that children need to explore all 5 Love Languages - and re-explore if they have been through trauma in the past - he co-wrote one for children available here.
We are exploring all 5 Love Languages in our house - Quality time - sometimes PJ shouts Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, to get my attention, or twists my face towards hers whilst she tells me something, as well as having fun hanging out the washing or doing a craft together. Physical Touch - hugs, cuddles and holding hands and sitting on my lap whilst watching TV. She role plays Acts of Service by making me a cup of Tea - and even gives a cuppa to the Cat! She delights in giving me little Gifts by doing a painting and rolling it up into a parcel, saying here you are Mummy - I got you a gift! Lovely I say and leave it on display for all to admire! Perhaps the most priceless, to date, was her recent Words of Affirmation towards me, when she said after dinner - Mum, you did super well with Dinner - any cook would be proud:

Dinner that night was this:

Loving the words of Affirmation flowing in our house!
What is your Love Language?
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