We are nearing the end of the first half term of Big School and it has been a bumpy ride - not as bumpy as I thought it could have been. Yes, we have had some regression - some easier to cope with than others and others that have taken their emotional toll on us both.
PJ has a survival tool bag with several resources that she uses, when she is overwhelmed.
I have a growing therapeutic mummy bag which I use when she is overwhelmed.
Sometimes, though, we seem to have both thrown our toys out of our bags and are both just left somewhat overwhelmed.
Sometimes.
Sometimes, the rolls of the roller coaster ride have caught me unawares and sent me twisting and turning and reeling.
At other times, I have helped to steer the roller coaster around and we have made great rolls and reached great heights and mastered the twists and turns with our arms held high, almost cheering along with great exhilaration and joy.
The first few weeks we had tears and screams of seemingly pure frustration, along with carefree and determined bouncing on and off furniture - the sofa - and the bed, some wet pants and some hitting and kicking along with some more possessive behaviour towards the cat.
PJ has also struggled with saying good bye to me in the mornings.
And she has struggled to say goodbye to me at night.
We have also had some fabulous triumphs, where regression has not been anywhere to where we regressed to last year when she first came to me and some regressive behaviours have not reared their heads at all.
School have begun to see some of these behaviours, but for the most part, she has been holding it together all day and then letting it all out at night and at the weekends.
Sometimes it ain't pretty.
I still find the aggressive hitting and kicking the hardest to cope with and to manage, calmly, successfully and consistently but each time it is lessening it's ferocity and the strength of it's grip is lessening in intensity and time.
The last few weekends calm has once again been restored to the sofa and she is once again sitting watching her beloved CBeebies, rather than bouncing on and off the sofa repeatedly.
The last week she is more settled in her sleep and we have once again begun closing the gap from 8.30pm - 9pm bouncing on and off the bed and hitting and kicking, to currently being calm and settled around 7pm - 7.30pm and sleep has returned from waking at 6.30am to now 7.30am.
Phew.
We still have some way to go before we see calm of our night time routine to be once again restored as it was before we started Big School.
She is still really struggling and therefore reacting at the point when she knows I am about to go downstairs at night.
On the plus side, she has made friends, been to several whole class parties and coped really well, joined in a whole school assembly and recited the class poem really well.
On the plus side, she loves her school dinners and seems to be enjoying learning her letters and sounds and counting.
On the plus side, we have left on time everyday, dressed (almost always in socks and shoes too) and most days we have even managed to brush our hair.
On the plus side, I have managed to leave her with the comfort of staff and her transitional toy, to arrive at work on time too.
On the plus side she beams when I pick her up and runs out to me from the classroom door, shouting Mummy and hugging me - sometimes, much louder than the other children greeting their Mummies.
The smile and hug is a winner.
Every time.
